I Almost Shit On One Of My Employees

It’s really hard to not be petty isn’t it. My GOD.

Sometimes when i’m driving and a car behind me is up my fucking ass (pause), I wait for the inevitable moment that they swerve into the next lane out of frustration, pass me and we both hit the red light that (if they took the time to pay attention, would notice) is 1 Kilometer ahead of us.

Without fail, they do that. I then pull up behind them and start clapping with my hands up and giving a thumbs up so they can see me in their rearview mirror.

Why the fuck are you speeding to a red light fuck face?
Fuck you, die.

Now, maybe they were in a hurry granted, or maybe they had an emergency. People have been rushing since the beginning of time for all sorts of reasons, I’m sure Paul Revere woulda been pissed if he hit traffic.

I myself have screamed “MY NIGGA?!” to people doing 63 in a 60 when I was late for work, it happens. We flare up

What’s that corny shit, AnGEr is OnE wOrd AWay frOm DaNgeR

ugh, I guess you’re right.

(Disclaimer: This is solely for whoever sent me that email from Medium’s Trust and Safety team or whatever the fuck asking me to amend and censor what used to be in here, since you don’t know what a fucking disclaimer is, you fit into that definition. Good evening)

So at my new job.

O by the way I have a new job where Im a nurse manager. I am responsible for the careers of others.

I can grant life and end it as it were.

I have a lot more power right now and it’s very interesting.
I certainly have a desire to be responsible with it because at the end of the day, Uncle Ben was on to something.
(That’s from Spiderman if you don’t get it ugh… If you did, I’m sorry you had to see that, these niggas ain’t nerds)

But one of the nurses that works under me sent me a wild email the other day and I almost shit in my chair, he didn’t use my name once, this motherfucker literally started the email with “ahhhh lol”

He was addressing a new proposal I had made to the nursing staff and without adequate thought had sent me an email about how I needed to talk to the staff before changing it and how it wasn't good.
I won’t get into details about why he was completely wrong in his assessment. But..

Little did this BUM know that I would have risked my whole career to email him back telling him to take his idiotic opinion and write it on a paper and put it in an envelope with his stupid BUMMY ass name on it and mix it with vinegar and jizz in a blender with hot sauce then draw it up with a syringe with a 250 ML capacity and squirt it into his eyes non stop.
Are you fucking crazy lmaoo??

Yo that email was so wild I showed it to my coworker and she began to read it and just started speaking in questions.

“…huh?..what?..what??..he sent this?”

Now as a black person it’s hard to not subconsciously take things racially.
Living on this planet, a lot of things remind you you have black skin and most of them are not your reflection.
I’ve had so many slights because of the color of my skin both overt and covert so I have a perpetual chip on my shoulder about that. I see enemies everywhere.
That’s called black trauma, ask your black friends about it.
There is always a smoldering rage that is always there that I have to keep in check, because as a person of color you WILL be the villain 99% of the time. The optics are never in our favor, even if the truth is..sigh

It’s so hard being the good guy, that’s one thing life has showed me.
Real Life and Fiction,
You ever see the scene with the hero, when he can finally kill the villain?
The villain that’s killed so many innocents, that’s usually killed the hero’s friends or family, and then he just drops the pistol…man..
Like sometimes people just deserve to get destroyed.

Fuck justice and due process and all that, let me be Superman and see George Floyd’s murder video. Fuck that S, i’m gonna rip off your kneecaps Derek Chauvin.

I guess it’s easier for me because I have a Christian upbringing and I believe in God so I really don’t wanna go to hell for vengeance bro fuckkkk that. Have you felt fire?

“Father forgive us for our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”
We gotta take pause sometimes cause we don’t know our own strength in a moment of passion.
But anyways,

I showed her the version of the reply I wanted to send him (knowing it was spicy) but she cautioned me against doing that and one thing she highlighted was what stuck with me

“You should respond to this very neutrally and respectfully so that even in the case of someone else reading this email, they would see his email and your response and know you are someone that is very professional”

And if there’s anything I wanna be, it’s a fucking professional.

I remember a quote from M from James Bond’s Skyfall when she says
“Regret is unprofessional”
There was also this quote from Saul in Oceans 11 when some guy at a poker table goes “Got a weak stomach Mr Zerga?”

“I don’t believe in weakness, it costs too much. I don’t believe in questions either”

I literally just wanna be that stone cold smooth fucker that just says dope shit and doesn’t react to anything. He only responds accordingly.
There’s an art to that, what’s that shit they stay about Steph Curry?
No movement is wasted. Yeah I need that.

I’ve been swayed by emotions for far too long, they can be useful yes, but i’m trying to harness them for fuel instead of let them run rampant.

They’re the sole responsibility of my predicament today I think, I mean i think I have a good job now, and I’m becoming more self aware of my flaws but I’m several thousand dollars in debt and most of my money has gone toward women that may or may not still be around.

Granted I think life is about the present and about living each moment to the fullest but, I am hurting the future version of myself with every Manu Ginobli highlight. (A Spur of the Moment)

I hope i’m not getting off track here, I’m typing this while simultaneously watching an interview with Joe Budden and Kevin Samuels. They’re giving an interesting perspective on men and women.

Anyways I sent that guy a reply that was very professional, so professional it was probably scary lol he probably read it and was like oh shit this is such a contrast to my fuckshit I probably shouldn’t fuck with this guy.

No..you shouldn’t.